School bullying is a topic that deeply resonates with me as both a systemic psychotherapist and a mother of a teenage daughter and two wonderful stepsons. It is also a part of my professional life: I regularly encounter individuals who suffer from it, including a teenager I am currently working with. This article, drawing on the systemic approach, explores the issues surrounding bullying and offers ways to empower its victims.
Understanding school bullying 🌍
School bullying often manifests as mocking, insults, or exclusion, but it is not necessarily linked to physical or mental characteristics. As Emmanuelle Piquet explains in this article, it often relies on a relational dynamic, where the roles of the bully, victim, and bystanders interact. Social media amplifies this issue, making attacks more visible and often more violent.
In my work, the systemic approach helps to understand these dynamics in depth. It sheds light on why some children become targets and how to intervene effectively by adapting solutions to the individual.
Empowering victims 🔑
The systemic approach is based on one key point: empowering the bullied child. This does not mean blaming them, but rather helping them regain autonomy and the ability to take action. Every situation is unique, and I always strive to tailor my interventions to the personal history, fears, and strengths of the individual I am working with.
Tailored responses: beyond examples
In her article, Emmanuelle Piquet offers “arrows”, strategic responses to help children reply assertively. Here are some examples:
- In response to mockery: “That’s your opinion, thank you for sharing it.”
- When criticised about appearance: “Ah, I see you’re paying attention to me, thank you!”
- In case of exclusion: “Never mind, I’ll do something else that’s even more fun.”
These replies are just examples. Finding an effective response requires a deep understanding of the situation and the child’s personality. Together, we explore their needs, fears, and relational patterns to create unique, tailored solutions.
An approach beyond school 🏢
Bullying dynamics are not limited to school. In professional environments, for example, adults can find themselves in similar situations. Once again, the systemic approach is valuable: it helps understand the relational mechanisms at play and find ways to restore a healthy balance.
What bullying reveals
Bullying is not always driven by a lack of empathy from the bully. As Emmanuelle Piquet explains, the bully often acts out of a need for recognition or to assert a form of dominance. Understanding these mechanisms allows us to approach the problem without stigmatising anyone, but by seeking lasting solutions for all involved.
The importance of a personalised approach 🌱
Every person is unique, and it is essential to tailor tools and interventions to each individual. Here are some key principles for action:
- Encourage open communication 🗣️
Providing a space where the child feels listened to without judgment is crucial. This allows them to express their emotions and difficulties. - Develop assertive responses 🔧
Working with the child to build responses suited to their personality and situation. Role-playing can help practise these responses. - Strengthen self-esteem ✨
Valuing the child’s strengths and successes helps them develop lasting self-confidence. - Involve the school environment 🏫
Collaborating with teachers to raise awareness and prevent bullying while promoting an inclusive school climate.
Together, let’s change the dynamics 💪
School bullying is not inevitable. With a systemic approach, we can empower children, raise awareness among parents, and work with schools to transform these painful experiences into opportunities for growth.
For anyone looking to take action, the first step is to get informed, talk about it, and pass on the necessary tools. Need personalised support? Contact me!