In my previous article from 19 July titled 🌟 Unmasking the true self: A journey to authenticity, I discussed the importance of embracing our True Self for profound liberation and personal fulfilment. It is a journey towards self-acceptance, where we reclaim our ability to choose who we want to be and how we want to live.
Today, I would like to delve deeper into this topic by offering ten key steps to help you truly become yourself.
1: Take time for yourself 🕰️
The first step to becoming yourself is to regularly set aside time alone. Solitude can be a valuable ally in reflecting on your thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and goals. Keeping a journal is an effective method for this introspective work. Writing down your thoughts and feelings daily can help you better understand your reactions and identify recurring patterns. According to Carl Gustav Jung, a pioneer of analytical psychology, this introspective work is essential to accessing our unconscious and discovering hidden aspects of our personality.
2: Accept distancing yourself a bit 💞
It is sometimes necessary to take a step back, even from those you love. Spending time away from your loved ones allows you to reconnect with yourself without external influences. Engage in activities that you enjoy and that rejuvenate you. Spending time with yourself helps you understand and redefine roles and dynamics in your relationships, particularly familial ones, to foster individual and relational growth.
3: Explore your passions and interests 🎨
Identify what you are passionate about. Make a list of your hobbies and activities that energise you, such as painting, gardening, or writing, and dedicate time to them regularly. According to psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, engaging in activities we are passionate about can lead to states of high happiness and satisfaction.
4: Analyse your personal values 💡
Reflect on the values that are important to you. What guides your decisions and actions? Note the values that resonate most with you and use them to guide your decisions. Values are fundamental principles that determine our behaviours and choices. It is proven that fulfilling one’s own values and personal needs helps achieve complete personal development.
5: Recognise your strengths and weaknesses 💪
Take inventory of your skills and areas for growth. Ask three trusted individuals to tell you what they perceive as your strengths and weaknesses. Compare their responses with your own evaluation. This practice can offer valuable external perspectives and help clarify your self-perception.
Knowing your weaknesses is as crucial as recognising your strengths. Our weaknesses are not merely limitations; they represent areas for development and opportunities for growth. By clearly identifying your weaknesses, you can develop strategies to improve or manage them more effectively. For example, if you find public speaking challenging, you can take courses to build your confidence and skills. Embracing your weaknesses as opportunities for improvement can transform them into driving forces for personal and professional growth.
6: Play devil’s advocate 🧩
Learn to put yourself in others’ shoes to understand their perspectives. This exercise can reveal aspects of your personality and beliefs. By examining your arguments from another angle, you can identify biases and prejudices you hadn’t noticed before. This ability to see things from different perspectives is also essential in systemic therapy, where problems are often addressed by considering various perspectives and contexts.
7: Be attentive to internal signals 🔍
Pay attention to your emotions and bodily sensations by regularly pausing to check what you feel physically and emotionally. This mindfulness practice can help reduce stress and increase mental clarity. Listening to your internal signals can guide you towards decisions more aligned with your true self.
8: Overcome your fears and limiting beliefs 🧠
Identify and confront the fears and limiting beliefs that prevent you from being authentic. Question them by asking if they truly belong to you. Our beliefs strongly influence our emotions and behaviours, and changing them can lead to unexpected positive changes. By working on these beliefs, you can free aspects of yourself that have been repressed.
9: Practise self-compassion 💗
Work on improving your self-esteem to learn to love yourself fully. Look at yourself with kindness and without judgment. See your failures as opportunities for learning and development. Self-compassion is recognised for its link to better mental health and greater resilience. By developing a compassionate attitude towards yourself, you can accept yourself more fully.
10: Establish authentic relationships 👥
As you become yourself, some people may drift away. Accept this idea, and you will draw closer to people who support and accept you for who you truly are. The quality of social relationships has a significant impact on our well-being, as many studies in social psychology show. By cultivating authentic relationships, you can create an environment of mutual support and understanding.
By following these steps and remaining open and honest with yourself, you can get closer to your core essence and live a more fulfilling life aligned with who you truly are. This journey towards authenticity is unique to each person, and it is normal to encounter challenges along the way. If you feel the need for personalised support, I am here to help you navigate this path with kindness and expertise.
#Authenticity #PersonalDevelopment #FindYourself #InnerJourney #MentalWellbeing #Fulfilment #Introspection #SystemicTherapy
References:
- Jung, C. G. (1964). Man and His Symbols. New York: Doubleday.
- Satir, V. (1988). The New Peoplemaking. Palo Alto: Science and Behavior Books.
- Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. New York: Harper & Row.
- Alderfer, C. P. (1969). An Empirical Test of a New Theory of Human Needs. Organizational Behavior and Human Performance, 4(2), 142-175.
- Seligman, M. E. P. (2002). Authentic Happiness. New York: Free Press.
- Boszormenyi-Nagy, I., & Krasner, B. R. (1986). Between Give and Take: A Clinical Guide to Contextual Therapy. New York: Brunner/Mazel.
- Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. New York: Delacorte.
- Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders. New York: International Universities Press.
- Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. New York: William Morrow.
- Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497-529.