Our memories, those invisible traces left by our past, often shape how we live and interact, even without us realising it. But how can we understand them, soften their influence, and move forward more freely? This article delves into this question while offering ways to transform your memories into allies.
🐇 A fascinating observation: Footprints in the snow
The other day, I noticed an intriguing detail while observing rabbit footprints in the snow ❄️:
➡️ When a rabbit runs quickly, its front paws leave traces closer to its destination than its hind paws. At first glance, it seems as though the rabbit is moving backwards, but it’s actually heading forwards.
This reminded me of something I often encounter in therapy 💬: our memories behave in a similar way. They influence how we move forward, often without us even realising it.
🌱 What are memories, and why do they influence us?
Memories are not the same as recollections. They encompass emotional, physical, and sometimes unconscious imprints left by our past experiences.
🎞️ The difference between recollections and memories
- Recollections are past events we can consciously recall.
- Memories, however, include unconscious traces that manifest in our body, emotions, and behaviours.
For example, a sudden rise in anxiety in the present might stem from a physical or emotional memory linked to a past trauma.
🧠 Why do memories influence us so much?
Memories shape:
- Automatic reactions: a current situation can trigger emotions tied to a past event.
- Relationship patterns: childhood memories often affect adult relationships.
- Decision-making: painful experiences can create blocks or avoidance behaviours.
These mechanisms often operate unconsciously, making them hard to identify alone.
🤔 Why is it difficult to work on memories alone?
🔍 The challenge of self-awareness
Our memories often act like invisible scripts. Without external help, it’s hard to:
- Step back: we are deeply immersed in our own patterns.
- Separate past from present: current emotions may seem unrelated to their true origin.
🧑⚕️ The role of a therapist
A therapist acts as a mirror, helping to:
- Identify the memories influencing your current choices.
- Highlight unconscious repetitive patterns.
- Transform these memories into resources for growth.
💡 Therapists also get supervision
What many people don’t realise is that therapists themselves undergo supervision. This helps them to:
- Maintain clarity about their own memories.
- Provide neutral, compassionate support to their clients.
🌿 How to transform memories into allies
1️⃣ Acknowledge their existence
The first step is to observe your emotions and reactions. Ask yourself:
- Why does this situation trigger me so strongly?
- Have I experienced something similar before?
2️⃣ Accept their presence
It’s not necessary to relive every detail of the past. What’s crucial is recognising that these memories exist and are part of you.
3️⃣ Soften their impact in the present
To ease the influence of memories, certain therapeutic approaches can be effective:
- Systemic therapy: exploring how your family and past relationships shape you.
- Conversational hypnosis: working with memories at an unconscious level.
- Body-based approaches: listening to and releasing tensions linked to emotional memories.
4️⃣ Move forward with them
The real transformation lies in learning to coexist with your memories without letting them define your future. They then become guides that help you navigate life more freely.
✨ Moving forward with your memories
Just like the rabbit’s footprints in the snow, our memories can give the illusion of being rooted in the past. However, when we become conscious of their influence, we can transform them into allies. They stop holding us back and instead become valuable resources on our journey.
What memories are still influencing your life today? 🌟 Are you ready to recognise them and move forward more freely?